01. Minnesota Vikings (5-0): The NFL’s only unbeaten team spent their bye week bolstering their offensive line, which looks like the only weak spot on the roster right now.
02. New England Patriots (5-1): Tom’s back. Gronk’s back. Look out, world. Also, look out Microsoft Surface tablets.
03. Dallas Cowboys (5-1): I must admit, I didn’t see the ‘Boys coming in this high, but they’ve earned it. Zeke and Dak for Co-Rookie of the Year.
04. Seattle Seahawks (4-1): Probably didn’t deserve to beat Atlanta, but they did and the division looks like it is theirs for the taking.
05. Atlanta Falcons (4-2): I almost flipped the order here, putting the Falcons at four because they deserved to win that game against Seattle, but the refs took it from them. Impressed with this bunch.
06. Denver Broncos (4-2): Offensive line looks like a bigger problem than the QB position.
07. Buffalo Bills (4-2): Winners of four straight and looking solid for a wild card spot with a defense playing up to Rex Ryan’s standards. And Shady McCoy is proving he can carry an offense.
08. Arizona Cardinals (3-3): The more they rely on David Johnson and the less they rely on Carson Palmer, the better this team will be.
09. Kansas City Chiefs (3-2): Andy Reid is now 16-2 after bye weeks. That’s pretty incredible. Nice of Dee Ford and that defense to show up to take down the Raiders.
10. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2): Two terrible losses (to Miami???) and now Big Ben is out 4-6 weeks. The Steelers are going to need a December miracle. Luckily for them, Roethlisberger specializes in that.
11. Green Bay Packers (3-2): What’s going on with Aaron Rodgers? If he’s not one of the top three football players in the world, the Packers are in big trouble.
12. Washington Redskins (4-2): The defense hasn’t given up a second half touchdown during the 4-game winning streak, the running game is getting started and Kirk Cousins is playing better every week. Schedule gets tougher in November, though, so wins in Detroit and in London against the Bengals are critical.
13. Philadelphia Eagles (3-2): Wentz had to wait until game 5 to get the normal rude NFL introduction for rookies. Now, we see how he responds.
14. Oakland Raiders (4-2): Defense is holding back the team and forcing Derek Carr and the offense to be great every week. When that doesn’t happen, the Raiders lose.
15. Houston Texans (4-2): They will go as far as Brock Osweiler won’t take them. The more they rely on someone else — anyone else — the better.
16. Detroit Lions (3-3): Defense isn’t good and the running game barely exists, but Matthew Stafford is balling out and if Golden Tate is going to show up from now on, the Lions have a shot in the NFC.
17. New York Giants (3-3): Odell Beckham Jr is an electrifying, transcendent talent. The sideline shenanigans are incredibly stupid and boring. Do your showing off between the lines, dude. You’re not witty enough to pull it off anywhere else.
18. Baltimore Ravens (3-3): Have now lost three straight and are first team in NFL history to have their first six games in a season all decided by six points or less. That’s parity, baby.
19. Los Angeles Rams (3-3): Case Keenum played very well last Sunday, completing 20 straight passes and scoring 4 touchdown. And then on that drive, he did the last thing any QB can do — forced a ball over the middle into double coverage.
20. Cincinnati Bengals (2-4): The last time the Bengals were this bad, Carson Palmer was the quarterback. They need a healthy Tyler Eifert — stat.
21. Tennessee Titans (3-3): Will go as far as their power running game can take them. So far, it’s taken them to respectability.
22. San Diego Chargers (2-4): Win over Broncos was impressive, despite the late-game conservatism.
23. New Orleans Saints (2-3): Still completely dependent on Drew Brees scoring 35-40 points per game to win. How long have the front office and head coach Sean Payton had to build a defense?
24. Carolina Panthers (1-5): I refuse to give up on these guys yet, but it is clear now that their defense is terrible. The secondary, in particular, has fallen apart. Remember all that talk about how the Panthers wouldn’t miss Josh Norman, Josh Norman would miss the Panthers? Yeah. About that…
25. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3): Arrelious Benn, who missed 2013, 2014 and 2015, saved the season — at least for now — for the Jags on Sunday. Anyone see that coming?
26. Miami Dolphins (2-3): Where the hell did that come from? Jay Ajayi running for over 200 yards? Beating the hell out of the Steelers? Can they do anything like that again?
27. Indianapolis Colts (2-4): This team is basically just Andrew Luck and a few receivers stuck on a Division 2 roster.
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3): Offense looks terrible without Doug Martin and Jameis Winston is taking a big step backwards.
29. Chicago Bears (1-5): Got beaten on Sunday by a wideout — Arrelious Benn — most people didn’t realize was still in the league.
30. Cleveland Browns (0-6): They’re bad, but they’re competitive in games, which is more than you can say for the last two teams on this list.
31. San Francisco 49ers (1-5): Turns out the Colin Kaepernick offense looks a lot like the Blaine Gabbert offense, which is why Kaepernick was benched last year in the first place. Both quarterbacks stink and the team stinks, too.
32. New York Jets (1-5): Terrible on offense. Terrible on defense. Ten interceptions and zero TD passes after halftime this season. Stick a fork in this team.